It’s been a few days, maybe even a week since I listened to Robert Morris’ sermon:
“DON’T TOLERATE the Jezebel spirit”. These words in his sermon are ‘stuck’ in my head and I feel led to get to the origin such.
I finally have a few moments to ‘look’ at the definition of the word ‘tolerate’:
Tolerate (verb):
1. allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one does not necessarily like or agree with) without interference.

To allow the existence, presence, practice, or act of without prohibition or hindrance; permit.
2. To endure without repugnance; put up with: I can tolerate laziness, but not incompetence.

1525–35; < Latin tolerātus, past participle of tolerāre to bear (akin to thole2 ); see -ate1

1. Endure (something) without complaint or resistance; tolerate.

tolerō, tolerāre, tolerāvī, tolerātus
verb (1st conjugation) : to bear, endure, support, sustain, suffer
to support, nourish, maintain, sustain, preserve
Going back to listen to Morris’ sermon again, as I put the pieces of this puzzle together…..


Warrior for Christ in Training

Well first I welcome myself back after being MIA for about 2 years! For some reason either due to PC issues or WordPress log in issues, I have not been able to get back to my blog. I came today to create a new blog and tried once again to find this one and….. BY THE GRACE OF GOD, I’m here.

Upon entering, I noticed a post from a very dear online friend, Linda Bain that I had not seen before, how enlightening and refreshing it was to see that! Linda is no longer with us here on Earth, she has moved on up to the Heavenly realm.

I have but a few minutes to write this morning for all my anxious critters are calling for their breakfast; but I want to get a few things down while they are fresh in my mind.

Last night I experienced a demonic attack upon my character through my youngest daughter. These attacks have been ongoing now for approximately 2 years. I have spent many hours searching for a solution to resolution and healing and for a permanent removal of these hurtful and troublesome demons. It has worn on me, aged me, exhausted me. It cuts to the very core of my being to witness and experience these vile attacks. I spent some time reading some excellent articles at:

That are helping me understand this aspect of the Christian walk. It’s ‘deep’, it’s intense, but it is also very necessary for everyone’s well being. While reading, it became very clear to me that I have been made a warrior in Christ, which now means I have to go into training to learn how to fight the enemy(s).

This stood out to me moments ago, and prompted me to return to my blog where I can begin once again the journey of a spiritual battle.:

“I want to give you some very basic verses from the Bible showing you the importance that God the Father is placing on that we realize the reality of demonic spirits in this world, and that we not be afraid to engage and cast them out of people when we do run across them in this life.

Today, I am only at the place where I’m beginning to understand, increasing my awareness, and learning how I am supposed to arm myself in preparation for battle. Please note this also:

“What is now left is that all Christians have to realize that the victory is already ours.

We thus have to learn how to engage and defeat the devil and his demons when they do try to move in on a person or a situation – and sometimes this means a real live deliverance – because demons can attach themselves to people when they do move in for an attack.

And once they do, the only way to be able to drive them out is by the power of God!”

Well I am happy that I found my blog, many hours have been dedicated to research, learning, writing…..many more to come!

I’ve got to run for now! 🙂


This is where I am at today….

You can either learn how to rise up and walk with the anointing and power of God in your life so as to be able to do battle against your enemies, whether they be demons or other evil people – or you can choose to hide your head in the sand and let demons and other evil people keep tearing you and your family to pieces.

I have a few more moments so I will try to describe what occurred last night….

May (25) found a bunch of kitchen utensils in Jame’s playpen, which all it’s being used for these days is to store his toys.

She began to complain, ” This is not from James.” I then called Marie (11) out from her room and simply asked her to help May put the utensils away. At that point, May began to verbally attack Marie, which in turn prompted a fear in Marie and she walked towards me refusing to help put them away. May continued her rant, put downs, and name calling towards Marie. I then looked at both of them and told them to both stop. From there, May began to attack me verbally. She went on to say how she cannot wait until she moves, she’s selling her horse and getting away from all of us ‘crazies’….I found myself weakened ( as I desire to not speak my thoughts and feelings unless they are edifying) and told her that she would be making the same mistake again as she has done over and over since 2006. That she cannot just up and move for ‘some guy’ as she had done in the past and she cannot continue that behavior with a child, putting him through that and making him vulnerable. The verbal attacks from her continued. She put me down for my faith and the expression of such, calling me a fake. She told me that ‘everyone’ knows the truth, they know how she treats and speaks to me and they support her in doing so because they know ‘how’ I am. She began putting me down for things long ago in the past, saying I ‘allowed’ a ‘man’ to beat my oldest daughter (That’s a lie, she’s referring to her biological father and the 1 time I seen him hit Nikki, I separated and divorced him.) She then went on to say how I allowed a man to come into our lives who tried to ‘do things’ to her. ( I have never heard of such a thing from her ever. If she had told me something was wrong back then when it happened, surly someone would have died. That’s how strongly I feel about abuse of any kind.) I don’t recall everything she said, but Marie told me she called me the ‘c’ word, which May knows how much I hate that word and she does it to display an utter disrespect for me. I at one point recall telling her, ” You wonder why no one respects you? You’re mean, vile, hurtful. It’s evil. People cannot respect that, rather they will rebel against it.”

All was nonsense, over petty things…. I knew it would be a matter of time before the personal attacks would begin towards me again. Marie has been complaining for some time just how abusive she is towards her….It ALL has to come to an end, for in it there is no happiness for anyone….

Spirituality in Violence?!

Spirituality in Violence?!

It’s been a very long time since I’ve been here at my blog, so long in fact that I was concerned I had lost it, it took me over 35 minutes to locate it and log in….

I guess life has gotten in the way of my writing, some of life good, some not so good….. And for the last several months I have contemplated starting my book…. World events seem to knock at those thoughts and I’m beginning to have a sense of urgency to at least get it started. I will be doing that soon….during the long dark winter nights and cold winter days, this is a perfect project….

The link I posted refers to the recent mass murder of school children in Sandy Hook/Newtown CN. What a sad state this Nation and many other countries in the world are coming to. Mankind would like to ‘think’ they are becoming more civilized when in fact the opposite is true. What is it in man when something so horrific as what occurred at Sandy Hook the very same man/woman can go on with day to day life as if nothing ever happened?

What is the bottom line when something like this happens? Do you know? Do you have an instinctive feeling? A gut feeling? An answer? What is your Source? Your Sustenance?

~502 DAYS~

I am at peace and comforted with my decision to once again address his resistance to any healing, and accept his choice, and honor mine as well. Yes, I am angry….but that is an issue that I need to deal with and heal from. Without that anger, I don’t think I would have been able to successfully separate myself from the ‘pull’ that was holding me captive in a dark, evil place.

502 days ago, I ended a post with the above.

It was the day after Ben left, the day our intimate relationship ended, the day my complete healing began.

It’s quite amazing actually, I think back to my state of mind 502 days ago and compare it to today, and all that I prayed for has come to fruition. I was not comfortable back then in my anger and resentment and I longed to be free from it. Those emotions only led to the weapon of Satan himself, confusion. It was difficult for me back then to fully comprehend if my feelings were attributing to the default of the relationship or not. This in turn created doubt within me and I was quickly being defeated by the Master Deceiver. 

Three weeks ago, I received a call from Ben; he had finished this stage of his employment on the pipeline in NV, and after visiting his daughter in San Diego, he said he would be passing through my area on his way home to Indiana. I asked if he would stop by for a visit, and to meet the new members of my family; my mustang & burro babies and my Bloodhound. He replied he would if he was invited.

I got a call on a Friday afternoon, he was in the area. We met for a drink after I finished work, visited for about an hour, and planned on him coming to the ranch the next day. That evening, he  half listened to what had been happening in my life for the 502 days since we had seen each other (there was a brief visit in that interim when he was in the area in October heading up to work in NV, we visited among friends in Tombstone) and  the conversation spiraled onto the ‘all about him’ phase.  I knew this was his narcissism, and I felt empathy for him as I now understand he is a ‘victim’ of the ruler of darkness. I was held captive for an hour and a half longer than I had wanted listening to his stories of his 502 days; not wanting to be rude, I gave him my full attention.

The next day, we visited, spent a few moments with the horses, he helped set my AC unit up, then the afternoon was spent talking about his phone(?!).. a new toy..I offered to take him for a bite to eat before he left and that went fairly well. He allowed Marie to even sit next to him at the table, and never cringed over the sounds of other people crunching on chips and salsa. You see, he has a problem with OCD as well.

It was early evening, we came back to the ranch, said good-bye and he heading for home. For two days during his drive, he was texting me, sending me pics of various things ie: semi load of hay and the communication between us was positive and simple.

My reason for writing this post, 502 days ago I was a very angry lady, bitter, overwhelmed, confused, scared, depressed and unforgiving. I couldn’t see that light at the end of that dark tunnel, that place where I desired to be. I was consumed with negative emotions. I can recall Ben saying at various times with what appeared to be sincerity, that if we separate, he would wish that we could remain friends. I used to chuckle to myself with that ‘Yeah right’ attitude.

Today, I’m there, healing is possible, I have forgiven, and the only residual emotion that remains from the four years of hell is a bit of depression and a longing to have a compatible companion, a helper in my life. But those feelings were there before Ben & I ever met and throughout the four years together. He was never a ‘helper’ to me, but more like a dependent, I carried the weight of the relationship obligations entirely.

I haven’t heard much from him for three weeks now, but I no longer ponder the aspects of it. It doesn’t matter. Our days together will be no more, and a friendship does remain. I no longer have to take it personal if he doesn’t call or communicate, and I can almost guess he’s so deeply involved with his issues of narcissism & OCD that he cannot communicate. He purchased a new truck when he went home, and I am sure it is consuming all his time. 

502 days, and I am free!

~Healing & Scripture~

I haven’t been feeling well for a few months, and in trying to sort it all out and ‘get better’ I’ve turned to scripture for answers.
I discovered that it’s all connected, since the beginning of ‘my’ time. I started reading the book written by Henry W. Wright, A MORE EXCELLENT WAY, and the words I read as I flip through the pages just seem to click!
I believed that I was suffering from an under-active thyroid, and have been wanting to get some meds for a while now. But something deep inside me tells me {without reading a single word from this book} that there’s something deeper.
Thus the reasoning behind the ‘click’ in the text of the above mentioned book.

In reading excerpts from this book, I’ve come to realize that most of these ailments are rooted in FEAR….an new awareness began to birth….fear…makes sense, I can see where I have been fearful and anxiety filled most of my life. The connection between physical ills and spiritual bondages of demons.
Sounds intense? It is, but at the same time one begins to wrap their mind around this complexity, the simpleness of it also takes root. I began to think as I went about my morning tasks, this ‘fear’ thing seems to be huge! Where would I begin?
I’m tired, I’m ill, my fight seems to be gone. I began to talk to God~ “Father, I need you to simply step in here and take control, I really am clueless as to what I could or should possibly do here.” I began to think that it would be simple just to be as a child and have no thought or concern for anything, except the here and now, this very moment.
As I take a breather from cleaning; I sit down and glance at the page that this book is opened to; here is the sripture from the Good Book that jumps out at me: “And I said, Verily, I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3

Right there, we are instructed by God to tear down the barriers and become as little children, do you remember those days as a child? Become vulnerable again, and look to our Father in heaven for protection and guidance.

Principality ~ A Word

Often, understanding comes from the simplest moments.

In some conversation the other day, I spoke the word, ‘principality’. When I spoke that word, the listener who is wise in the things of the Spiritual realm interrupted, “do you know what principality is?” I listened, eager for knowledge, awareness, Truth.  This verse was spoken, Eph 6:12: “For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world-rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”

WOW! Talk about an eye~opening moment! This verse is telling us that we are battling against something we cannot see, smell, touch. The FIRST ‘thing’ mentioned in this verse is ‘principalities’….so, what is it?

Principalities/Princes – derived from Latin princeps (sing.) and principates (pl.). The Greek of the Septuagint Old Testament and of the New Testament is arche (sing.) and archai (pl.), from archomai, beginning or commencement. The implication is that the arche or prince is the principle of order, the ruler of a principality. The Hebrew word used is sar, and carries the same meaning.

So, a principality IS  ‘something’ that is ruled by a ‘prince’. That’s simple, makes sense. BUT, (and this is very insightful!), in Scripture, this word is referring to the spiritual, not physical world or realm.  There alone in Eph. 6:12, it is simply and clearly emphasized that the battles we are facing TODAY, EVERYDAY, are NOT good, but EVIL. It states, the battle is against the WORLD ruler of this DARKNESS!

When that word rolled off my tongue in that simple conversation, it’s intention was ‘good’, yet unknowingly, in that moment when it was spoken, a TRUTH was revealed to me. In reference to the topic which included this one seemingly insignificant word, it was a REAL eye~opener, a revelation of what really was involved in that particular event.

So, this ‘principality’ that a battle is waged against, what is it’s weapon(s)? Confusion and deception.

When I said, ….” but based on principality, I was not going to accept a severance pay because I knew I did no wrongs”…. That whole entire situation that occurred 2 years ago was presented to me in a whole new light! I was deeply involved in a battle AGAINST a PRINCIPALITY, subjected to the weapons of the prince of ‘this’ world, confusion and deception. I was delivered safely from this battle, and I see that the ‘enemy’ was defeated.

A situation experienced, over, and now ‘clearly’ understood. As complicated as life seems, the answers lie in the simple Truth.

It is Satan’s purpose to deceive these nations and to keep them from obtaining a knowledge of God’s truth and salvation through His Son Jesus Christ. In the book of Revelation, chapter 20, Satan is depicted as a deceiver of nations. The Greek word for deceive is planaho, and according to Strong’s Greek Dictionary, this word means to “cause to roam from safety, truth or virtue, go astray, seduce, wander, and to be out of the way.”

Satan’s major success, in deceiving a nation, is due to a lack of discernment on the part of the people.  The people are blind to the invisible forces of supernatural evil that are operating and influencing their visible human agents of political, social, religious and philosophical programs. Satan’s greatest victory would be to convince the world that he just doesn’t exist. However, God signifies the devil as the author of sin, sickness and death, and warns us to be alert and vigilant because the devil, as a roaring lion roams about seeking whom he may devour (1 Pet. 5:8).

The devil controls the kingdoms of the world and we are not to underestimate his influence and power, nor believe that this is the will of God.  God is telling us to “stand” against these evil forces by equipping ourselves with the power of God, and looking unto Christ as our example.

Our Spiritual Warfare is Against “Spiritual Wickedness in Heavenly Places”

The Greek word for wickedness is ponēria and means depravity and particularly in the sense of malice and mischief, plots, sins, and iniquity (Strong’s Gk. Dict.).

Malice [A. H. Dict.] is defined as:

1. A desire to harm others or to see others suffer; extreme ill will or spite.

2. Law — The intent, without just cause or reason, to commit a wrongful act that will result in harm to another.

Satan is also depicted as the prince of the power of the air

Since Satan is the prince of the power of the air, these wicked spirits, in high places, are often understood to be the collective organization of all of Satan’s devil spirits.  These malevolent spirits work evil and mischief and operate in our atmosphere. They operate as close to the very air we breathe, and reach to realms beyond.  All kinds of spiritual filth are propagated , in these realms, for the purpose of humanity’s deception and subsequent destruction. Prior to becoming a Christian we too walked according to the prince of the power of the air.

Our Spiritual Warfare is Against “Powers and World Rulers of Darkness”

The Greek word for “powers” is exousia which means derived or conferred authority, the warrant or right to do something, or delegated influences of control.  Although the word “powers” is left unclear as to Paul’s precise meaning in the verse, this expression is used elsewhere in scripture to infer the powers that be in authority. In keeping with the context of this verse, this would include all high-ranking, evil supernatural powers and the power of sin and evil in operation in the world. The fruits of this type of evil can probably be seen in drug cartels, gross poverty, plagues, terrorism, and other heinous crimes against humanity, even toward the animal kingdom.

Some Christian authors also associate “world rulers” with magic and demonic pagan gods such as the Ephesians’ Artemis and seems to be in line with the pagan culture of ancient times, in which temples were dedicated to these demonic pagan deities. And let us not forget “Molech,” the national god of the Ammonites’ in Old Testament history.  The priests would place the sacrificial children into the brass hands of the image, in which these helpless victims would slip into the fire below.  This is described in Scripture as the “abominations of the nations” (2 kings 16:3 ASV).

Eph. 6:11, “Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”


What can we take from this?  When we feel overwhelmed, confused, deceived, & hopeless…..we need to step back for a moment….take it to prayer….and seek the clarity to understand exactly what is really taking place. It is NOT the person or entity that is right there before you with whom the battle is with, but with the spiritual ‘princes’ of darkness with whom the REAL battle is against. Thus the significance of forgiveness…because that ‘one’ right there in front of you is a ‘weapon’ of the Prince of Darkness, ruler of ‘THIS’ world! They, themselves are confused, deceived and are unaware of what is REALLY taking place!

Scriptural Reference:  Col. 2:15, Col. 1:16, Eph. 6:12, Eph. 3:10, Romans 8:38, Daniel 12:1,

Daniel 10:21, Daniel 10:13,

~Understanding Anger~

2 02 2010

In hindsight of recent events, where a deranged young person took the lives of several innocent people and tried to murder Gabbie Giffords, leaving her fighting for her life, I feel it’s important to take a step back and take a better look at the emotion of anger.

Stories of destructive anger in its various forms pop up all over the world.

Well, you wouldn’t do anything like that (e.g. murder) because you got angry. But have you ever lost your temper? Do you ever do things you wish you had not done? Or, have you said words you wish you never had said?

Therapy for destructive anger is a process that takes time. To outline what I do (for myself and others who need to get free from this), you could find the following 4 kinds of anger (with Scripture passages for you to read) a helpful reference along with a statement that describes what needs to be done for each one:

Scriptures to Read: Proverbs 14:17; 15:18; 18:13; 19:19
Therapeutic Key: Sudden anger is to be CONTROLLED.

Scriptures to Read: Matthew 5:21; Romans 12:19
Therapeutic Key: Sinful anger is to be CONDEMNED.

Scriptures to Read: Eph 4:26, 31-32
Therapeutic Key: Stubborn anger is to be CONQUERED.

Scriptures to Read: Eph 4:26; Mark 3: 1-5
Therapeutic Key: Sanctified anger is to be CHANNELED.