Thrown into the depths of darkness, banished from the lives of my grandson’s…my happiness stolen. I’m drained, sad, confused.
I know the source of this misery, yet still a Warrior in training on how to fight, how to reclaim the Life that I’ve been robbed of. A million thought’s race through my mind…and knowing time is precious and quickly passing; the urgency for Healing strains my body, my soul, my spirit. Great disappointment settles in my gut, how my daughter’s are deceived and blinded. I wonder, how do they justify their reasoning, thought’s, their actions?? Do they find strength in treating the one who raised them, who played a vital part in their existence; the one who loves and cared for them with such vile?? Do they feel empowered by persecuting their own Mother? What is the answer to resolution? As a child of God and a follower of Jesus Christ how do I completely cope with this? I need answers Father…I need complete understanding…. I need to know the direction I should be going in…I can’t do this without You! Let me hear Your Voice of Truth and Understanding…..Please lift the darkness from my heart and the doubts racing through my mind…Bind the curses that hold my peace captive and place them in the abyss. Strengthen me Father so I am a mighty warrior in Christ with an Anointing of the Holy Spirit. In each of these situations Father; reveal to me what I am to do…..
Psalm 119:61 ~ Though the cords of the wicked ensnare me, I do not forget your law.
To my oldest, Marie….
I understand on that day the fears and stress you were holding in your heart….as you attacked me I felt every bit of your anguish. I witnessed your confusion. I stood before you with an earnest desire to be a ‘Help’ to you in resolving your pain. Your attack increased and you continue your persecution of me yet today, six month’s later…All your hateful words on that day and your display of disrespect in front of your children, my grandchildren; has left a scar upon my heart. (This is very difficult for me to meditate on and to put into words, I am worn). I recently watched a little video that Grace recorded of Jr. It was around my birthday and Grace was asking Jr to talk to me in the video. At 5 years old I noticed an obvious change in Jr.’s belief’s of me, his grandmother. A beautiful, innocent, pure little boys perspectives on who and what his Gramma is had been stolen and manipulated as if all he had come to know on his own and in his own heart was a lie, a deception. Through your desire to control you have deliberately removed the joy, peace, and truth that a little boy and a grandmother shared in their time together. You have willfully replaced all that is good with sadness, confusion, hatred, disrespect, despair, and darkness. How do you justify your choices of action? How long will you listen to the spirits of darkness? What do you hope to accomplish by perpetuating the lies? Are you ready to accept responsibility for what you have created? I am hurt and
angry disappointed that this is the road you have chosen to travel, I did all I knew to do when trying to teach you about the Truth the Light and the Way, never forcing it on you, but ‘helping’ you to be aware so you could through your free will make your own choices. I’m angry disappointed that you have willfully betrayed me and chosen to associate with other’s who chose to live in darkness; and encouraged a child to reject those with Light in their lives and to accept those with darkness in their souls, as if that is the right way…I cannot sit silent, enabling the darkness to win. I never have excepted deception, never will. I do believe however that I have tolerated unknowingly, and I’m not yet clear on what to do to stop tolerating, especially where my grandchildren are involved. I do know enough however to bring the wholeness of the situation into the Light for examination…..I do not keep secret’s, I do not lie….nothing good comes from either of these….Ironic, you are all too familiar with the way your uncle treated your grandmother, refusing to allow his children to know her….you are familiar with the anguish this caused her….yet you have chosen each and every day to do the same evil to your own mother….
Luke 6:27-36 ~ “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
I knew this in my heart even as a child before it was even confirmed to me in Scripture….
2 Timothy 2:23-26 ~ Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.
Father I pray for my children….
…… To be continued…..